Soft Shell Crab - The real 4-1 was the friends we made along the way.

Hi everyone! Apologies for the delay in getting this post out later than expected. The hot weather absolutely knocked me out yesterday!

Listening, learning, laughing.

I knew when I started this blog that part of what I wanted to do was to talk about my experiences as a woman and trans person in the hobby. It's definitely true to say I'm in the minority, especially so at the competitive end of the game, and I wanted to use my platform to talk about what that's like.

I wasn't sure it would be something that would interest anyone, but I was absolutely astounded by the amount of support I received following last week's blog post.

I received nothing but support and kind messages from the community, along with some slightly embarrassing compliments on my writing.

What really surprised me though was how enthusiastic the guys at Clash were to talk about inclusion in the hobby. Having been involved in diversity intiatives at work I'm often disappointed at the lack of engagement from cisgender heterosexual white men when it comes to improving inclusion. Yet so many people were keen to talk to me about how we could get more women involved in the hobby.

A lot has been made out of gatekeeping I'm the hobby and I'm certain that's it's a real issue in some areas. When I was talking to the men at Clash there was a real desire to actively encourage women to be involved. These guys want their partners, daughters and female friends to come and roll dice with them. Most importantly they all listened to what I had to say as a woman and acknowledged the perspective.

I felt my views were valued and appreciated, as well as being able to share differing perspectives on representation across all kinds of nerdy topics.

Tits at the tabletop

Another point I want to highlight briefly is how I'm always taken seriously as a gamer. There was an incident on Saturday night where a drunk guy from outside the Warhammer group came over to speak to myself a couple of others. They told him about us being there to play Warhammer and he looked at me and asked "so what's your role?".

I gave a flippant answer that seemed to break his booze addled brain and he wandered off shortly after, but I found the incident hilarious. The implication behind his words was that I, as a woman, had some other reason for being there than to play the game.

I was able to laugh about this incident because it pretty much hasn't happened since I started playing competitive events. Everyone has taken me seriously as a Warhammer opponent and the fact that I'm female hasn't come up once.

I think the AoS community might be more shocked by my 4-1 being an eel heavy IDK list, rather than anything to do with gender!

It's not all dice and identity politics...

But of course I don't go to these events just to be a social justice warrior or to play the game, it's also about the social side. Saturday night was the first time I'd committed to going "out out" at a Warhammer event.

I honestly feel a bit emotional writing this, but god everyone was so lovely! Not just because of all the free drinks (thank you, you all know who you are xxx) but just the fact that I got to feel safe and included.

This might be something people take for granted as cis men, but I'm not sure there are many other places on earth I could go out drinking in a group of 20+ guys and feel completely safe with them. At no point did it feel exclusionary, at no point did my boundaries feel pushed (at least by the Warhammer group, the random drunks maybe!) and at no point was I worrying about fitting in.

I could be Hazel the girl who likes Warhammer, Hazel who is trans, Hazel who plays Idoneth, Hazel who likes to flirt, Hazel who likes a drink... But at no point was I reduced to any of those things. I could just be myself and have a good time.

I won't go into detail, but a few people also opened up to me about their own lives, struggles and experiences. I'm grateful that they did so and I want to reiterate that I'm always here for people.

Anyone in the AoS scene who is struggling with mental health, please do reach out. I'm more than happy to talk anonymously.

P.s. Anyone who watches AoS Mondays on The Honest Wargamer I can confirm Nathan is as nice in person as he seems on the show.

Raising our voices

Of course I'm not the only person from a marginalised background in the hobby. Tabletop games have long been a haven for neurodiversity and it's important that we keep encouraging that and supporting people who might communicate or present differently than neurotypical people.

We also have Obaid (a member of Team Finland, The Nine Inch Fails and all around great AoS player) and Mo (TO organiser for Clash and early day AoS legend) who are both British-Asian. I'm sure they have their own experiences and perspectives on the hobby. What can we do to make it easier for people of colour to get involved and feel included in Warhammer?

I also let and was lucky enough to spend some time talking to Jack, who identifies as gay. Do gay and bisexual men feel comfortable and represented in the hobby? Has anyone ever avoided talking about their sexuality to "pass" as straight in the Warhammer community?

What about disabled people? Are our events accessible? Do we talk about ramps, toilets, induction loops etc in our event packs?

This is all to say without starting on hidden disabilities, such as fatigue conditions or mental health, and other invisible barriers like income and class.

Even as a trans woman I'm still white, middle-class and we'll educated. What helps me in the hobby might not be enough to make it inclusive for others. How do we take an intersectional approach?

I am confident we will continue to see more diversity in the hobby, but if I have a message it's that we all need to use our voices to communicate. Be willing to open up and be willing to listen. I'm certain the AoS community wants to welcome everyone, we just have to work out how.

Special Thanks

I'd like to quickly say thank you to a few people. If I haven't mentioned you please don't think I'm not grateful, there is just so much!

To James, Phil and Tyler from the Brighton AoS community for reaching out to make sure I felt welcome and safe in our local scene.

Alex J from Carnage for providing me a free ticket to Spring Carnage and also offering to help provide discounts to anyone who identifies as LGBTQ, as a woman or Non-binary and to people of colour.

To Matt from Propainted Studios for offering to set me up with some free gear. (I do feel a bit cheeky though so not sure if I'll take him up!). P.s. check out their awesome gaming accessories. They are generally considered the best token sets etc around in the hobby. https://www.propaintedstudios.co.uk/

Lastly, thank you to everyone who has been reading this blog. Whether you came for hot IDK takes or to hear my meandering thoughts, I'm so grateful.

Keep yourselves safe, may your dice roll 6s (or 1s ☀️) and have a big hug from me.

Love, Hazel x

Note, I don't receive any requests for promotion, sponsorship reviews etc for any products or events. No one has attempted to bribe me yet but hmu I'm open to it x